I worked 36.5 hours this week... that's alot btw. Well life's everything that I could ask it to be... I'll be a senior this year, I have a job that I love, I have great parents. I can't help but feel lonely with no guy in my life, and never hanging out with friends, and not having Chantelle here. I just wish all this would hurry up and money would appear in my bank, My ACT would go up, I'd get scholarships to colleges and I would KNOW what college to go to so I could just go to college and start my life. But I can't just skip this last year... It's hard always looking at EVERYONE else... couples everywhere... I mean freaking 7 year olds have boy friends even if it's not serious... and I just have to tell myself that "Someday" someone descent will want me. I can't remember a time when a descent guy wanted me. The only guys that hit on me are ones that want to do me, or guys that are so weird it freaks me out... it makes me wonder if thats a hint... maybe there is something wrong with me that makes normal good guys not like me... but then I realize... wait.. I'm in Arkansas, I'm the only mormon in my school... there's not really many good guyis out there left... so I just keep telling myself that one day... when I get to college I'll find a great man, return missionary... who might see something in me, but what if I get to college and it's just a rerun from highschool, and I still get no normal guys... it's frustrating, I feel like I'll be single all my life, or that I'll just get so tired of waiting, that I'll settle for less. But don't worry, I'm sure God has a plan for me, and I'll just keep hoping for "Someday".
I don't need to worry about friends cause Family is the important thing right... so just cause I'm boring and there's nothing interesting about me, and no one wants to hang out with me, that's ok... cause I still have my Family and God, and that's all that really matters in the end.
3 weeks ago
