Dear Blog,
Prom was last weekend. I got Prom Queen:) It was pretty exciting. I totally didn't expect it. I feel like I have no friends here, yet I got Prom Queen... It blows my mind honestly. I also got the Arkansas Academic Challenge Scholarship. It looks like I'll be staying in Arkansas for college... I'm feeling really good abut UCA which is funny cause I told myself I'd never go there. I've decided I'm going to be a Speech Pathologist for children. I'm dating Jc again. There is something about him that I can't help but love. no matter how much time goes by or how much I try not to love him... I can't not love. I'm happy when I'm with him so for now I am enjoying my time with him.. He knows me better than anyone and is always there for me. I could call him anytime of the night and he would listen to me. I feel pretty good about UCA for many reasons, mainly because they offer a major for Speech Pathology, not only will Haley and Jc be there but also Sarah, Jamie, and Megan. So while I would still be moving out, I would be with the people who are closest to me, and it wouldn't be so hard to move out. Most of them are always there for me, and expect me to be the best I can. I could maybe room with Jamie and that would be perfect cause she knows my standards and thinks they're awesome:P I've got 3 weeks left of school and am now realizing how close college really is for me. Thinks are starting to fall into place. Another thing about UCA is that the church is only a few blocks away so I wouldn't have to travel far. I feel better about UCA than I have felt about any of the other schools and I can go home anytime I want cause it's only an hour and a half away. Today I am happy. I am figuring things out one step at a time.
Love, Emily Lynn:)♥:)

Dear Blog,
This year I have been so confused. I lost all reasons for why I should even try anymore. I got so tired of failing. I got tired of being me. I got tired of trying and trying and trying. I realize now that I try for many reasons. Mainly I try for my future husband and for my future kids. They deserve the best, so I give my best. It looks as though I will be here in arkansas for at least the next year. This will probably be best. Despite the fact that I am 18 and can live on my own, even though I can get by, I am not ready to leave my parents nor my siblings. They mean the world to me. I'm not ready to get married either. So time is probably the best thing I can do for myself right now. Will i be the same person a year from now? I highly doubt that. Prom is this friday. I am pretty excited to go. I have a good dress that I really like, and my date is my one of my best friends. My brother is taking my other best friend:) I couldn't ask for more than to spend prom with my two best friends who just happen to be mormon, and my other best friend my brother:) I'm finally starting to see that my parents are trying to help me, not take away my freedom... funny how it took so long to realize this. I don't know where my life is going, I don't know when I'll get married, what degree I'll get, or when I'll be expecting my third child, but I do know this... my parents are gonna help me every step of the way. As for church, my primary class is going great, I am loving working with these little children, teaching them the simple doctrines of our church. I graduate May 20th, 2011. Thats in no time at all. It's crazy how sometimes it feels like you aren't moving fast enough, and other times it feels as though time flies too fast. Today I am glad that I am not alone. God gave me the best parents I could ask for. It took awhile for me to build up the trust, but I sure do love them, and I couldn't ask for more. Love, Emily Lynn♥