NEW BLOG

Due to Aaron and I getting married, I have created a new blog for our new family. It is http://aaronandemilyforever.blogspot.com/ Hope you enjoy it!

Dear Blog,
I guess it has been over a month since I last wrote. In the last month I got to go home to Colorado and meet Aarons family. That was a really fun and different experience. They are wonderful people. We did a lot while we were there. The only negative thing was I got super carsick everytime I got in the car the whole trip. I ended up buying some dramamine for the way home so that went smoothly. I also started my birth control in the last month and that made me super moody. So moody that I quit my job lol. Probably not th best decision I have ever made but its alright, whats done is done. I also went up to Nampa and visited my sister for a week. I really really enjoyed that. It was so nice to be able to be by myself while they were at work and to have my own private room. It was so good to be with family again. I love and miss my sister so much. I wish we lived nearer so it wasn't so hard to visit, but I am thankful that we are as close as we are. I am now back in Rexburg and working on finding a job. I am also noticing that my birth control is making me a lot more irritable than I was before. I love my roommates but the lack of privacy and constant noise are starting to get on my nerves. I think it is only because of my medicine. I wish I would get out of this bad mood. It is probably starting to bother Aaron. I am about to start a new book called "The Way of Kings" its like 1000 pages but it looks good. I love reading so I hope to get into this book. As for a job, I walked all over the other day and found that applications are now ALL online. Which sucks cause that lowers my chance of getting a job. Idk what I was thinking quitting my job... People make mistakes... I just seem to make a lot of them! I changed my degree plan again. I am going to get an Associates in Professional Preschool Education. With this I can teach preschool or open my own daycare later on if I want. So thats exciting.  I am in this weird mood where I just want to cook. Problem is there is only one of me and one of Aaron so its not really the best idea to cook a lot of food. So I just make something now and again. I made Aaron butter noodles with chicken the other day because I didn't really have much food and he had never had butter noodles before. He raved about it. He loved it so much it was adorable. He is an easy man to please. He likes food, and games and movies. Nothing else is all that important to him lol. Well I best get going. Chow!

Dear Blog,
today is like the longest freaking day of my life. I woke up 25 minutes late for work and freaked out and quickly got dressed, threw my hair in a pony and headed out the door. Needless to say it wasn't the best start of my day. So I get to work and everyone is like, "welcome to work Emily"... ya I might get written up for being late, not quite sure yet. Sometimes I think that I will forever be tired. It seems that no matter how many hours I sleep it is still hard to get up. I've had a lot on my mind lately. Trying to decide what to do with my life. My mind has been heavy with trying to figure out how I will be able to go to school, work, plan a wedding, and breath. I am struggling just to survive right now and I wasn't sure how I could add more to my plate. So I talked to Aaron and we discussed our options. We decided it would be a good idea for me to defer a semester and work full time. You see I have enough money to pay for housing or to pay for tuition but not for both. And there is no way I could add paying for a wedding on top of that. My stress level was at the roof. We both agreed that would be really good for me to take a semester off and just work and be able to focus on wedding details. Along with wedding details we have to figure out where we will live after we get married, and many other things. I also need to step back and think about a realistic degree plan because while I would love to become an Occupational Therapist, and I would love to travel the world, neither of those dreams are realistic if I want to be a mother. I can not wait to 6 years to have kids and I can't handle going to school full time with children, they would have to go to daycare and that is something I wouldn't ever want to do unless it was a last resort. So I am taking a semester off, to breath and take in the changes in my life, I am going to work 8-4 Monday through Friday, and work on the wedding and helping Aaron study for his classes so he can get straight A's. I can't tell you how much my stress level has gone down at just the thought of taking a semester off. I know none of you think this is a good idea, but Aaron and I agree that it would be the best thing for me to do at this point. As for my job I am starting to really like what I do... except for days like today but hey my day is almost over with.
Chow!

The Best of News!!

I am engaged!! I know you have all heard by now and probably think I am a crazy lunatic (which may be true... lol). Yes I have only known him for 2 and 1/2 months. Yes I got engaged after only a month of serious dating. Yes I love him with all my heart. Aaron and I met in our FHE group. I've known that I wanted to marry him for quite some time, he is honestly the most amazing person I have ever known in my entire life. He is everything on my list and then some. He will be an amazing father to my children. Although I knew I wanted to marry him I hadn't prayed about it until last week. To be honest I was scared to pray about it because I loved him so much and if the Lord told me 'no' then it would break my heart. Finally after talking with Haley one night she told me that if I truly felt like it was right then I shouldn't have anything to worry about. And that if I got a no then the Lord knows whats best. So that night at like two in the morning I went out on my patio and looked at the moon and the stars and marveled at the beauty of the earth. I got cold fast and quickly returned to my apartment. Everyone was asleep so it was actually quiet. I knelt down and told heavenly father why I wanted to marry Aaron. I told Heavenly Father everything, from the first date to the last and I told him every good quality I had found in him. I told him how good he was to me and how he had become my best friend. I told him that I truly wanted to spend eternity with him and how I would be lost without him. I told him how I missed him every second that he was gone even if it was only for 5 minutes. I told Heavenly Father everything I could think of and I asked the question. I asked if it was right that I should marry him. I was patient and waited. I felt peaceful inside like I do when I am praying and I know the Lord is listening and cares. I felt like I was floating. I definately didn't get a no and for a regular question I would say that was a yes, but for such a big decision I didn't feel as though I had gotten a strong enough answer. I talked to him about it and he had prayed also. He had gotten a definate yes. So we decided to get married but I was super scared and nervous... it was such a huge decision you know. So we decided to pray together. Before I started praying I had fear running through my bones. As I prayed I told Heavenly Father that we had decided to get married but that I was really scared. I asked that he take that fear away and comfort me to not be scared. Aaron and I both talked to God about marriage and by the end of the prayer all my fear had been washed away and the spirit filled my heart. I knew then that I was to marry him for sure. I had gotten a definate yes. So it was official we were going to get married. On Monday we went and looked at rings together. I found a ring that I absolutely loved. We found a ring he liked too. That night he proposed to me. He showed up at 8:30 in a suit and tie with flowers and boy did he look good. He is the cutest thing in the world. Then we left and he blind-folded me so I couldn't see where we were going. He drove around for quite some time so I was really confused. Once we got where we were going he helped me out of the car and walked me to a bench and sat me down. Then he took off my blindfold but told me to keep my eyes closed. When he told me to open my eyes he was on his knee. He asked me to marry him and I immediately said yes. I wish you could see what I saw in that moment. We were at the temple and the light of the temple shone on his face. Apart from the temple and him the only thing I could see was the stars above. It was heavenly. I saw eternity right there and greeted it with open arms. I love him so much. We stayed there for a few minutes marveling at the beauty of the temple and the stars and eachother. Then our hands were going numb so we decided to go. We then went to Cocoa Bean Cafe' which is a cupcake and hot chocolate cafe. We both got hot chocolate and a cupcake. Then we went and told everyone and showed them the rings. Some of my roommates had been hiding and taking pictures so that was sweet. Then we watched a Walk to Remember together and he really liked it. He gets so into movies its adorable:). My computer is dying so I better get off but know this. I love him with all my heart and even though we only dated for a short time, I know he is the one for me and I can't wait to spend eternity with him. He is the most amazing, sweet, patient, adorable boy I have ever known and I am the luckiest girl alive to get to marry him. The wedding is set for August 4th, 2012 in the Denver Colorado Temple. We already shceduled the temple so yes it is official. :)

Dear Blog,
This is my 100th blog post. Can you believe it!! A day for celebration for sure. Well today has been an interesting day. I have 2 LONG papers coming up that I will be spending all my time on. Today I declared a major. YAY!!! lol. I had never really thought about going into this major, Aaron mentioned it once but I brushed it aside because I didn't really know what exactly it meant. So anyways I went in to declare my major as Speech Pathology. Turns out I probably should have gone to a different school if I wanted to go into Speech Pathology. So I was about to leave and my adviser says 'what is it that interests you about speech pathology?'. So I told him and he said have you ever thought about Occupational Therapy? I said not really.. I don't really know what it is. So he told me about it and I fell in love right then and there. So we set up a graduation plan for me. There isn't a major specifically for Occupational Therapy because it is like a graduate program thing, like you have to get a masters. So we looked at the pre-requisites and found a major that filled most of them, and then we added two small clusters to fulfill the rest of my pre-requisites. So my major is now Exercise Physiology, and then I can after I get a bachelors in that then i can specialize in Occupational Therapy. I talk to people every day who are in so much debt it has taken over their whole life. I am really grateful I got to work here because I get to see how much something little like a late payment can affect your credit so much. Credit is so important, and people get screwed over for the littlest things. I am excited to get this degree because I can work part time and still have a family and still make bank and help people. I took my math test today and fell asleep three times today.. I got a whopping 67... So my A may go down a bit... Needless to say i need to get more sleep. I came home and fell asleep for 2 hours. Then I headed to work.
I am starting to get closer with Aaron, I know this because when I say goodbye at night it gets harder and harder and my heart hurts a little. Its crazy to think that we have only been dating a month. I know him so well. In just one short month I have come to love this Colorado boy. I have come to know his little quirks, and everything that makes him who he is. I spend so much time with him it would be weird and sad if I didn't see him one day. Spring Break is coming up and I asked off for work about two weeks ago so i can go to Colorado with him. It's going to be a long week if I can't go with him, I suppose it would be good for us, but it would also be good for us to both get a little break from life and have fun for a week. Anyways life is still pretty hectic but not so hectic that I can't handle it. I haven't been able to Skype with my family much lately because I have been so crazy busy but that's okay, because they know I love them. Well today i am on credit leads at work and I am not having much luck. No one else here is either. I only have an hour left. I can't wait to get out of here, I have got to get started on an outline and summary thing that will take hours to do. Well Love ya'll bunches!! =D

Dear Blog,
Well I know I just wrote like an hour ago but after I got off Aaron and I started talking. We decided to go outside. Being outside in the sun with him brightened my day. We went and got donuts and chocolate milk and sat on the bench and talked. We decided to talk about things that we are grateful for. Here are some of the things we listed: family, the sun, the trees, the birds, the flowers, chocolate milk, popcorn, girlfriends, boyfriends, love, warm air, good weather, hugs, lots of hugs, comfortable shoes, make-up, nail polish, painted nails, movies, and more hugs lol. There were many things we were grateful for. In that moment I was most grateful that he could cheer me up. I was grateful that he cared and that he took me by the hand and cheered me up. I don't know why I was so down today but I was happy that he was there to make me happier:) Between him and Tauni i know the Lord is keeping an eye out for me:) Tauni keeps makes me smile and laugh when I am down and reminds me of who I really am.

Dear Blog,
I am sitting in the living room with Aaron. He is working on homework and I am trying to be positive. Sometimes girls just get emotional ya know? I feel like crawling in a hole and never climbing out, that way I wouldn't have to worry about all these things I have to do and these decisions I have to make. Today I am worried about what direction my life is headed and whether it is the right one and whether I am ready for it or not. Those of you who know me know that I hate making decisions. Yet in this time in my life everyone is asking me to make decisions. It scares me because what if I mess up? It's only the rest of my life on the line ya know. I don't know what I want to do with my life. I can't decide upon a career. As far as Aaron goes, I love him. I've never been happier with someone in my life before. As we get more serious I get more scared because it's a lot of commitment. Aaron is done with his homework now so chow!

This week I have been a lot better at getting to sleep on time. Or at least earlier. Apart from sunday, I have been in bed by 12:30 everynight. Aaron and I made an agreement to go home by 10:45 each night so we can both get more rest. Last night he didn't leave till 11:15 (that was my fault lol) but it is improvement. My immune system seems to think it can give me a run for my money. My throat is hurting and swollen, and my stomach has been upset for like 4 days straight. I'm not sure what it thinks it is doing. I have things to do and places to be, I can not afford to get sick again. I went and bought some caugh drops today though and I am hoping that will help. I am going out with the Rials today. It will be fun to see other Arkansans here in Rexburg. I keep meaning to see Erin more but I have just been so incredibly busy. I only have a month left of this semester if you would believe that, and I have so many projects due in the upcoming weeks, I have no idea how I am going to get them all done. Every class has projects and finals and what not coming up. I am already dead as is, I don't know how I will find the time or energy to get what I need done. Well I better go cause I am in my science class right now. Love ya!

Dear Blog,
I am slightly out of breath because I just ran back to work. I went on a 30 minute lunch break and took a shower and came back. I feel great now:) I wish I could listen to music while I was at work cause sometimes it can get boring. I painted my toe nails today while talking to people. They look great. Then I tried to do a second layer on my fingernails (I painted them yesterday) and I totally jacked up my right hand... sad thing is I don't have nail polish remover with me so they are stuck looking like that until I am off work. Right now there is some issue with the scripts online not coming up so we are just sitting here waiting for them to fix the problem. Last night Aaron and I watched A Knights Tale, which is a great movie by the way. For the first time in weeks I was in bed and asleep by midnight. I am still pretty tired but feel better since I got 7 hours of sleep rather than 3 or 4. I was going to work on my math while I was at work, but there are too many interruptions, so I can't concentrate. My weekends go by so much faster now that I have a job. My roommates say I take a lot of naps but I have too! I have like no breath time. Normally I would say Sundays are my free time but I don't get out of church until 2 and then there is all the visiting teaching and home teaching and laundry and homework that you have to do. And I like to see Aaron too. So really my only free day is Thursday in which I am in class until 2 and then I usually come home and take a nap, and then go hang out with Aaron, usually involving homework. I am so utterly exhausted. But I am enjoying the college life. I absolutely LOVE my roommates. I LOVE this school, this church, and the fact that Skype exists so I can keep up with my family. I LOVE being with Aaron. I really can't complain too much about my life because its so great. I am surrounded my so many blessings. They still haven't gotten it fixed so I think I am going to get up and walk a bit... stretch my legs ya know! Love ya! :) ♥

Heyy!!
So I've got exactly 9 minutes to spare so I figure why not blog?! Well I this week has officially worn me out. I haven't gotten to bed till 2 or 3 these past couple nights which just killed me off. I still made it to all my classes remarkably. I am starting to really really really like Aaron... like A LOT!! I love every minute I spend with him, and I miss him every minute I am away from him. I feel like I want to do everything with him. I see him everyday, usually twice a day except in special circumstances when I only get to see him once. He walks me to class every day which starts off my morning wonderfullly. On mornings where I would usually be in a bad mood, whatever is wrong instantly evaporates when he walks in the door and gives me a hug, grabs my hand and walks me to class. Then I usually see him at the end of the day after work. I usually go to his place to do homework since it is a lot quieter over there(and I like spending time with him:)). He always walks me home then. So he starts and ends my day everyday. I've met his family over skype and they seem soooo nice. He has a great relationship with his parents which makes me love him even more. I know all of you are probably thinking he is just another one of my guys but its different this time. Aaron is everything I could ever ask for in a guy. He is everything on my list. The other guys I have dated before met some of the requirements but not all, and to be honest I have never liked a guy the way I like Aaron. He doesn't drive me crazy which is crazy in itself because I've never met anyone who didn't drive me crazy after a while. He is so understanding that I'm pretty sure I could tell him anything and it wouldn't alter what he thought of me. I am so happy to have him in my life. He amazes me how he can have so many positive characteristics... I know I am probably driving you all crazy talking about him so much but he is just such a big part of my life right now. Last night I saw that look in his eye. I've seen that look from a total of 4 guys in my life. Its that look where their walls come down and you see how much they truly care. Everytime I see this look I am flattered, but also saddened. It scares me to see that look. It truly goes straight to their soul. I never felt I could completely return that look. But last night when I saw that look my heart melted and for the first time ever I welcomed it. It didn't scare me at all. I wanted him to look at me like that forever. I wanted to stay in his arms forever but instead I said goodnight and went inside. I can't really explain to you all the reasons why Aaron is better than best. He is the most wonderfully amazing man. He is a mixture of my 3 brothers and my dad. Take the good qualities in all of them and put them into one person and you have Aaron. I never thought someone like him really existed. How could he? As a little girl you dream of this guy that you think would be your own Prince Charming. Then as you grow older you see the guys in your high school class with you and you slowly come to accept that your Prince Charming doesn't exist. In high school all I really hoped for was to find a guy who would accept that I was a virgin and that that wasn't going to change. The 2 guys I found I dated. They weren't the best guys in the world but I came to care for them. My family watched as I told them I hoped for a possible future with them(at different times lol). Then as I was asking my brother for advice he said something that lit a small spark. A spark that soon grew into a flame of fire. He said 'Emily. There are so many greater guys out there. You can do better than this!' I told him, 'Alex I don't think there are. Good guys, they don't really exist, so I found a guy good enough'. He said to me, 'Emily think back to that guy you've always dreamed of, think of him. He does exist you just have to get out of here and go find some Mormons, think about missionaries! There are so many missionaries that are good and cute, and worthy. You deserve someone like that, not the guy you are with. You can do so much better'. Thanks to my brother Alex, I came out here with hope. Yes I came for an education, but I also came because I had to. I had to come somewhere where I could hope again. I needed to see that there were people with standards, not only guys but people in general. I love Hazen I really do. But it is hard to see anything else other than whats there when you live there. While here I have met some amazing people. It is so good to be around other people with the same beliefs as you. There really are good guys. My brother was right. And these guys, they are better than good. To be particular, Aaron is amazing. If you are thinking about coming out here you definately need to. The education is wonderful, and the people are wonderful. When God is the main focus, it has to be wonderful. Well class starting now. May I say a personal thanks to my brother Alex for not letting me give up. And may I say again, Aaron is amazing and I couldn't be more grateful that he is in my life. :)

Well I finally got sick. I started feeling sick on Sunday, but not bad enough to really matter. Then yesterday it hit me hard and I had to come home early. I didn't even make it all the way through my first class. On my way home I slipped and fell twice, which just made me feel worse. I came home and went straight to sleep. I called in to work, took antibiotics, and slept some more. I slept somewhere between 20-24 hours. Now I feel great. I think I had strep throat but with lots of sleep and antibiotics, I seemed to have beat it. I didn't see Aaron at all yesterday except when he walked me to school, I missed him:(. He brought me cookies though, with a cute little note. He is so adorable. I'm falling behind in my classes. I have a science test tomorrow, and I don't know how I am going to do any good seeing as I haven't been to that particular class much in the last few weeks... Luckily I do my homework, so hopefully I'll do ok. I'm just going to have to study a lot. I haven't quite gotten a good hold on my life and getting Aaron, school, and work in a rutine where I can get what I need done. It wouldn't be so hard if I could do homework while I was at work, but everything is online, so I can't just bring it in. Blah. Here's to lots of homework and overwhelming school!

Hey:)
I got to class 15 minutes early today, which is not unusual for fridays since my class doesn't start until 8. Anyways I thought I'd take a minute to blog. Last night I played raquetball with Aaron and I actually didn't do too bad. I did a lot better than last time thats for sure! I really enjoyed raquetball, its a pretty good workout believe it or not. After raquetball we got pizza and did homework till like 11. I got my english homework done, and all 3 math assignments. I was super proud of myself. Aaron read this really weird story for english and he was cracking me up the whole time! Lol, it wasn't that great of a story but he read it with such animation, using different voices and cracking jokes, so it turned out to be quite interesting, though I am not sure what he would say about the story cause it was just so weird. This morning I got up at 7:10 and Aaron got there at 7:20. Yes thats right, I got ready in 10 minutes lol. Aaron walks me to school every morning, and Haley walks with us on MWF's, so I am never alone when walking to school. I love walking to school with Aaron, it just starts my morning out good you know. I won't get to see him again until like 9 o'clock tonight, I don't know why but that feels like a really long time lol. It'll pass by though because I have a lot that I need to do before then. Plus I work from 4-8. At 9 we are going to a comedy show together and he says we are going to laugh whether it is funny or not. Last night as we were doing homework together he reminded me so much of Alex because he was just sitting doing is homework, and cracking himself up. He just thought he was so darn funny, at the same time he reminded me of my dad because of the way he was reading his assignment. It usually drives me crazy listening to people read out loud, but I love listening to my dad read. Aaron has the same way of reading it is almost mesmerizing. It's really weird but I could totally listen to him read a book and enjoy it just as much as if I was reading it myself. Everyone says that I am addicted to skype, and they are constantly making fun of me lol, but I just have to say it is because I love my family sooo much!! ok class is starting now, g2g! Love ya'll :)

Dear Blog,
This week has been a tough one. It's been my first week on the job. That means less time with Aaron, and less time to do my homework. I made this plan for how I can get everything I need done in a day. I haven't been able to follow it. I don't have the time or energy. I am frustrated at the way things are looking lately. I think I am developing my mothers famous anxiety lol because I am worrying about everything! I just don't know how I am going to do it. I wish I could just live like the pioneers and go find land, build a house, have a garden and animals, and that would be my life. I wouldn't have to worry about house payments or taxes or how to afford to put my chilren in sports. Life is so much more complicated now a days. Blah. I am sure I will figure things out, and I will come up with a rutine that works for me, and everything will be like I want it too lol jk, I know life will never be like I want it to, but one can hope right? Well today is thursday and that means one thing. I don't have to work!! You have no idea how happy that makes me! So Aaron and I are going to play raquetball and maybe basketball I'm not sure. This morning I missed 2 classes... I literally couldn't wake up. I remember opening my eyes enough to look at the clock but then I was out cold again. My body just can't handle this strenuous college life. Idk how Haley does it, or my roommates cause they get so much less sleep than me but they seem to have all the energy in the world. Well I am going to make myself look pretty because that always seems to make me feel better:P Love ya!! -Emily

New Job

Hey everybody! I am in a great mood today. We had a three day weekend and I spent most of it with Aaron. The other part of the weekend I was sleeping and working lol. I got a new job, and I really love it. It is not physically demanding and time goes by. Plus I get money:). For those of you who I haven't talked to yet I'll tell you a little bit about what I do. I am a credit consultant. I talk to people who have low credit scores for various reasons, and give them suggestions on how they could improve their scores. 70 percent of credit reports have mistakes in them. If the people I talk to have negative items on their credit reports, and they have some form of positive credit(checking account, debit card, credit card) then I refer them to Lexington Law Firm. Lexington challenges the credit bureaus and if in 30 days the credit bureaus can't prove the validity of the things Lexington challenges, then they must remove the items from the credit report. I like my job because there are a lot of people who have been screwed over when it comes to their credit report, and I really feel like I can help them out. If they don't qualify for Lexington then I can connect them to someone who can help them through Debt Consolidation, Debt Settlement, Bankruptcy, Tax Relief, etc. I had to take a week of training and pass a test to get this job so now I know a bit about credit:) enough to be a credit consultant anyways. Negative Items on your credit report make up the biggest percentage of your score. New positive credit only makes up 10 percent. That's crazy isn't it. I think the positive should have more effect on your credit score but whatever. There are three credit agency's. Transunion, Equifax, and Experian. Your credit report is the average of these three scores. Anyways enough about credit I am sure I am boring you. I am in American Foundations right now and we are watching a movie. We are half way through the semester. I have got to get my grades up. They are all pretty good online but I fear they will go down if my teacher ever updates the scores. For my candy-making class I have to make a centerpiece project. It is due in two days and I haven't even started. I couldn't decide what I wanted to do, but I think I know now. I am going to make a vase with roses in it. Hopefully it will turn out and not look too bad. It is definitely going to take some after class extra work though. I think I am going to do the roses at home, and get my roommates to help me out. I'll make the plastic chocolate and they can help me form it into roses. I think I will use Marzipan for the vase. Well I seem to have gotten two new best friends while I have been here. I get along with both of them so well I wonder how I went my whole life without knowing them. Tauni Ackerman is the first one. We have a lot of similarities, and she is just so fun to hang around with. She is super loving and accepting. The other is Aaron. I know I have talked a lot about him so I won't say much but let me just say that I don't think I have ever gotten along so well with anyone in my entire human life. You would like him a lot. I don't think you could not like him, he is just that awesome. :) Well I have another hour in this class so I think I will work on my science homework for tomorrow. Love ya!! =D

Aaron Brent Vernon is absolutley adorable!! =D

Ok this is going to be a quick post because I am really tired and have plans in the morning. I was about to go to bed when I realized that I hadn't really blogged about Aaron yet. I thought to myself 'my poor bloggers have no idea about Aaron!' SO I thought I would tell you about him.
Aaron is a boy who seems to have captured my heart. The best word that comes to mind when I think of him is absolutley "adorable". He is the sweetest thing in the world. He is so genuine and innocent. Today we hung out after work at his place and made cookies blindfolded lol. Let me tell you, he was adorable. I was trying to figure out what exactly it was that made him so different. There are many things let me assure you, but I finally realized what was so different about him. He has never had his heart broken therefore he trusts completely. He gives his all. The thing that makes me like him the best is that he likes being with me. We hold hands when we walk but he is not one of those guys that has to be touching all the time. I can't even explain him because he is so utterly different from EVERY other boy I've met in my life. Even though he is really innocent and inexperienced, he is really thoughtful and considerate. His Valentines Day present was SO awesome and thoughtful and he came up with it all by himself. I can't explain how much he wows me. Today I didn't even wear make-up around him and it didn't bother me at all. He doesn't really wear name brand clothing which I LOVE about him, everything about him shouts how perfect he is. You can tell that he is not big on material things but on things like family and traveling and stuff like that. He is so amazing. Best thing of all, he doesn't scare me, or drive me crazy lol. The other day I stuck out my hand while we were walking, in an obvious motion for him to hold my hand and he high-fived it lol. Then I told him to hold my hand and he was embarrassed, it was so cute. It just shows you how his mind works. He always makes me laugh. And most importantly he respects me. He is super patient when I don't understand something and helps me figure it out. He helped me study for a test the other day and can I just say: Best study partner ever!!! Not only did he help me remember things but I was super nervous and he made jokes, making me laugh and lightening my nerves. He doesn't try to impress me, at least not obviously lol, he is just straightforwardly himself. I love everything about him. Tomorrow he is going to make me breakfast, help me write my talk, and play badmitten. We started going steady and hanging out every day, and usually if I hang out with a guy consecutivly they drive me crazy but suprisingly the more I hang out with him the more I like him. Today we skyped my family and he loved them, he thought they were hilarious, I couldn't help but think that he would fit right in. I am pretty sure they liked him too:) Well I could go on for hours but I really am tired. The poin I am trying to make in this blog post is this: Aaron is absolutley adorably amazing. I like him a lot! I don't know how I got lucky enough for him to like me but he does and I am welcoming it whole-heartedly! I really hope nothing goes wrong because he is so amazing I honestly don't want to lose him. Well Love ya'll! Good Night!

Its already half way through the semester believe it or not. I have 4 A's and one B at the time. I am pretty sure I'll have 2 B's by the time my teacher updates our grades though. I have learned something about myself. I can not really be happy without my depression meds. I went off it hoping I could be like a regular person and just be happy with life. It didn't work. I was a complete wreck. I noticed that every single day I was down. At first I just thought it was because of certain events but then I realized that every little thing made me upset. I thought about how depression has to do with your brain and automatically looking at things negatively. So I begrudingly took it again on thursday night and the effects were immediate. Friday I was in a great mood. Today was good too. I hate that I have depression it makes me feel weak, but I do have it and the only thing I can do about it is take medicine to even out the chemicals in my brain.
On friday Aaron taught me how to play raquett ball. That was way fun, I think I need more practice though. Afterwards we ate Taco Bell and then watched my all time favorite movie Fireproof. It was his first chick-flick. He seemed to like it well enough. He is a complete guy. He has 3 brothers and one sister. I personally think he is cute. He has green eyes, his skin is olive toned, and his hair is brown with a little sandy blondish look in it(just a little). He is about 5'8" so not the tallest guy in the world but I like his height. I think I like him but different than the other guys I've liked before. I always thought he was cute for one thing. But I don't look at him and get flattered or nervious or anything. I just have fun with him, like a good friend. I feel like I can be completely honest with him because he likes most of the things I like, like Harry Potter and fantasy books. He is big into Star Wars which reminds me of my dad for some reason. He has a cute sense of humor and we are always joking and laughing. Today I looked at him and asked what time church started for him. He looked at me for a second then said "Are you serious?!" Then I suddenly remembered that we were in the same ward... and the same FHE group. I was SOO embarrassed. We were laughing for quite a while. Lol I can be stupid sometimes but thats ok. Today we played human clue, and then went back to his apartment and played games and ate icecream. We had a lot of fun. He walked me home and once again reminded me of my dad when I went to give him a hug, he gave me a side hug. He is adorable. All my life I've loved those people whose faces blush and get red super easy, and he has one of those faces. He has green eyes too. Anyways, believe it or not I am not obsessed with him or anything. Infact I just love that I get along so great with him. We would have been best friends in high school. I just figured I'd tell ya'll about him since you can't meet him yourself, being so far away ya know. Well church in the morning so chow!

One Great Weekend

Well my weekend started out with me going Latin Dancing with some of my roommates. It was super fun. I have to admit I think I actually like Latin dancing more than country dancing which is crazy cause I am a country girl. I danced with lots of people that night. Some really skilled and others... not so much. One boy I danced with the last three dances. His name is Jonathan. He was charming and patient with my lack of skills as far as Latin dancing goes. He got my number and asked me what I was doing the next day. I told him I was free until 7 because I had a date at 7. So he asked me to go out with him at 4. I came home and watched a chick flick, with the roommates, called "500 Days of Summer". It was a sweet movie. I got to bed around 3 and didn't get up until 11 the next morning. Me and my roommates Kayla and Tauni made pancakes, eggs, and turkey bacon for breakfast. It was nice to have something other than a granola bar for breakfast. Then I took my time getting ready and then went and practiced piano with Kayla. She played a beautiful version of "If You Could Hie to Kolob", I cried it was so beautiful. Then I went back to my apartment and skyped Alex for about 2 minutes and then Jonathan showed up to pick me up. We walked over to his apartment a few blocks away and he had cooked cabbage, onion, quacamole, and all sorts prepared. For the main dish he had the ingredients ready so he could show me how to make it. I can't remember what you call it but it was incredibly good. We played a little fusbal in the lounge and looked at some pictures from his mission (he served in nicaragua and I felt like I was looking at pictures from The Other Side of Heaven because it was so similar). Then it was time to go home. Once I got back to the apartment, I made him some hot chocolate to take home with him so the walk wouldn't be so cold, then he was on his way and I was making sure I looked ok for my next date with Aaron. With Aaron it was a group date with 2 of his roommates. We went bowling on campus in the MC. It was actually really fun and my wrist didn't hurt at all. After the game we all went back to Aarons house and played some games and ate icecream. At the end of the nightI would have to say I really enjoyed both dates. The next day was Sunday and I was at church until 3:15. i was supposed to meet him at his apartment to watch the superbowl at 4. So I booked it home, changed my outfit to something more casual and then headed over to his place. Once we got there we all piled into a car and headed to someones parents house to watch the super bowl. Their house was huge and they had a big tv so we were able to get good seats on the couch and a perfect view. They had all sorts of food there such as tacos, pizza, hot wings, sausages, chips, soda, cookies, etc. It was super fun. After the superbowl we went back to campus and went stadium singing which is when you go sing hymns outside at the stadium. This is really fun to do but it is super duper cold! After stadium singing we went back to my apartment and he helped me do my Book of Mormon homework. It was in 2 Nephi, and it was the teachings of Isaiah. I found it quite confusing but he was very patient and helped me understand it. Then he had to head back to make it in time for curfew. So that was my awesome weekend. Lol hope you liked it mom and Alex cause I wrote it for you:)
P.S. Since I know you are asking the question I'll just tell you now that I really like this guy. I know if you met him you would really like him. He is kind and generous. He talks in a cute accent. I can't find one bad thing about him so far, nor have I heard a negative comment come out of his mouth. He is a a little goofy and carefree. Yes he really is from Guatemala. Tomorrow we are going to devotional together which should be fun since I usually go by myself, it will be nice to sit by someone I know rather than some stranger who is looking at me funny. Well I am super tired and have quite the day tomorrow so I'm off to bed. Love ya'll!!

The Truth About College...

The truth about college is this. It is super duper expensive. It is really fun. It is awesome living around other Mormons. The classes are amazing. Mentally college is great. Physically college sucks. No matter how much sleep I get at night I don't have energy for the next day. You get to walk everywhere which is great but can be mighty cold sometimes. I honestly like walking everywhere though. I think my dad must have gotten his love for walking from his college days. Physically I am dying. I don't understand why. I am more exhausted than I have ever been in my life. And it doesn't end. It is so frustrating. I don't know how I will ever make it once I start my new job. Here is to perseverance...

Dear Blog,
This week I have been overly sensitive. Idk why I just have been. I have been so stressed and frustrated. Tuesday was a perfect day. I had the opportunity to go to a devotional by Elder L. Tom Perry of the quorum of the twelve apostles. I don't think I have ever been so excited for something in my life. The devotional was amazing. I sat about 100 ft. away from him. I couldn't believe I was so lucky. He gave a wonderful speech on how we need to be prepared for this new year and the obstacles that might come from it. He told us how very important it was to have family traditions, as many as we could think of. He said many kids end up doing bad things because they are trying to feel like they are part of something. Elder Perry said that they should feel like they are part of something in their own family, therefore we must have many traditions, traditions in which we involve everyone. Have the kids be in charge of somethings. Make your kids feel like they are part of something in your family. The next day I went to the temple here in Rexburg. It was the first time for me to go here in Rexburg. The temple is soooo beautiful! It is soo big too! Compared to the temple in Memphis anyways. Then I came home and went grocery shopping. I finally rented the movie "The Help". I came home and watched it and bawled through half the movie. Once the movie ended I couldn't stop crying. It was ridiculus. I didn't know what had come over me. Finally I calmed myself down and said a quiet prayer thanking Heavenly Father that I wasn't alive when people were so utterly cruel to African Americans. Then I got myself prettied up to go country dancing. Me and Kayla headed over there and then Jake decided to come to. We missed most of the learning portion so I had no idea what I was doing. I tried hard but in the end made myself look like a fool. Everyone else there could dance like no other. Even Jake and Kayla could dance. I asked how they had learned these dances and they said from school and stake dances. I tried to explain to them how they didn't have dance classes at my school and that the dances are all nasty dancing. At stake dances you really only slow dance. I left that day determined to go home and youtube dances so I could do better next week. Thursday I was still really tired. I went to class and then came back. I did homework and such all day. I knew that Jake would be coming over that night so I made sure I looked ok and stayed up late waiting. His sister Kayla is one of my roommates so he comes over occasionally. Well at about 10 pm one of my friends comes bouncing in the door telling us she had gone to the mall and asking if Jake was here yet. Immediatley alarms went off in my head, why would she care if Jake was coming over? Apparently he was coming over to get his hair cut. His sister usually cuts his hair but my friends wanted to practice on guys hair so she was going to cut it. I know she doesn't mean it but she is the biggest flirt alive. The second he came over she started flirting. I could feel myself getting sadder and sadder as I listened to them talk. She laughed and giggled. Told him about her shopping that day, how she is taking modern dancing, how she made that scarf herself. I could tell Jake was highly impressed. Heck she is skinny, beautiful, musically talented, has perfectly white pearly teeth, can cook, and crochet. The list goes on and on. Suddenly I couldnt stop the tears from coming. The realization hit me that as long as there were girls like her in this world, I would never be able to get a guy as good as Jake. I couldn't remember the last time I cried that hard. I didn't grow up quilting with other Mormons. I don't know the Book of Mormon like the back of my hand. The list of perfect Mormon girl qualities that I don't have went on and on. It hurt my feelings so bad that even though my friend had at least 6 different guys she likes right now, she still flirted with the one guy I do like. I know she didn't mean too, or thats what I tell myself. It seems as though everytime he comes over she magically shows up too. She doesn't talk to me while she is there she just flirts. I know she isn't trying to hurt me, but she is hurting me. I wish we were friends like we used to be but she changed. I don't know what changed, but we don't talk like we used to. I was just going to cry myself to sleep but suddenly I got so strong willed. I wasn't about to let people walk over me. I have been waiting to come here my whole life, and I wasn't going to spend four years here wishing I was something else. I tried to repair the damage the tears had done to my face, then I walked out there. I casually entered the conversation. I got in a better mood. Not a happy one but I wasn't crying either so that was something. Before he left I told him I had 2 tickets to Celtic Nights for the following night and that if he didn't have anything to do, I think he would like it. He told me he would like to come. By Friday morning I was determined to learn how to crochet, and knit. I was determined to learn how to dance. I was determined to learn to be the person I have always wanted to be. I was determined to learn how to play the piano. The list goes on. Thankfully there is such a thing as youtube which will teach me how to crochet and knit. I will become worth something. I am not talented now but you just wait. One day I will be the best wife and mother that has ever walked this earth. Being a good mother, that is my biggest dream in life. That is the thing that matters most to me. Maybe I don't have the coolest talents in the world. But that doesn't mean I am a piece of crap. That just means that a guy is going to have to look past the surface to see who I am. Friday I gave plasma. I never want to give plasma again. I was shaking I was so scared. Then I got sick and almost passed out. It was a really unpleasant experience, and I can honestly say I couldn't have been happier to get out of there. I then went and took my first college test and got a 96. That just made my day. Then I came home and got ready for Celtic Nights. Jake and I left at 7. It was fenomenal I wished my family was there because I knew they would have just loved it. I was absolutely amazed by their talent. After Celtic Nights we went out for Ice Cream and then came back to my apartment. I showed him a few magic tricks and then we were just hanging out talking with my other roommates when what do you know my friend shows up with her date. All I wanted was one night, but it had to be topped off with her flirting with all the guys in the room at the same time. I wasn't that upset though. I was annoyed but thats about the extent. He left and I decided to hit the hay. Today I am determined to start to learn. I am doing laundry right now and then I am going to go practice piano. Oh and btw I think I might get a job at a call center! I hope so anyways!
Love Ya! - Emily

Last night I hung out with some premies (pre-missionaries). I was very dissapointed. Its crazy how good I used to think guys were until I met this one guy whose light shined through his eyes like I've never seen before. You could see his love for christ when he talked. He glowed. Its something that I will never forget. Last night I was very sad about the fact that I would never be that perfect girl that the good guys are looking for. But last night as I was hanging out with Haley, Tauni, and 2 premies, I could feel the difference in the spirit. They were having a good time,they were laughing. From afar you wouldn't see anything wrong. But while I was with them the spirit was gone. I didn't have any desire to be with them. Even though they are only a little younger than me it felt like I was hanging out with a bunch of little kids who hadn't quite learned about what life could be yet. I refuse to settle for someone who doesn't have the light of Christ shining through their eyes. Because its like the difference between skim milk and whole milk. Why would you jip yourself if you knew there was better? This morning as I was thinking about it I realized something. I do not need to worry about finding guys who want me. I do not need to worry about not being good enough or perfect enough. What I need to focus on is coming to know Christ in such a way that when people look at me they will see the light of Christ shining through my eyes. When I have a Christ like countenance than I will draw the good guys naturally. I'm not going worry about guys. I have enough on my hands with college as is. Its not my call. If I meet a guy and HE likes me and I know that he has a love for this gospel and I want to give him a chance then thats one thing. But I am not here to live in a town that should be called match.com and freak out when I haven't found my match. Heck I am 19 years old. I have many many many years left in my life. All I know is that I am not here to impress people. I am no longer afraid to be who I am. I may not have many friends, but I am who I am. I have many imperfections, but that just means I am human. I don't want someone who sees me as perfect or who wants me to be perfect. I want someone who sees my imperfections, and respects me for who I am and still sees the good in me.
Last night I was so sad to find out that not everyone here abides by the honor code. Many of those who do, only abide by it because they are afraid of being caught.The boys we were hanging out with wanted to watch a movie however we only had an hour and a half until curfew. They asked: "Are your roommates strict on curfew?" My heart sunk when I heard that. They didn't ask how we felt about it but assumed we didn't care and was worried about our roommates. I suggested playing games instead. I told my roommate that I was not comfortable being late for curfew. I agreed to abide by the honor code when I came to this school. I told her that I signed a piece of paper promising that I would abide by the honor code and so did my branch president and stake president. It made me look like a goody to shoes. I know being a little late on a friday night shouldn't really matter, but it does to me. I can't be the best person that I want to be when I am breaking rules that are there to help me. If I didn't want all these rules I could have gone to s regular university. But I came here to be around others who believe the same that I do. Haley just got here so I've got to go.

Love you!

That awkward moment when you realize you aren't good enough for him. You wait your whole life for the opportunity to come to this school and be around other Mormons. You get so excited at all the prospects of being here. Then the world comes crashing down and you realize that it is not a school full of good return missionaries. There are many types of Mormons here. And the ones that you have waited for your whole life are either married or looking for someone better than you. You realize how crappy you are compared to many of the other girls. You didn't grow up a molly Mormon. You didn't wait till you were 16 to date. You have already had your first kiss. You don't know the book of mormon like the back of your hand. You can't braid in 12 different ways. You can't crochet, nit, and quilt. You aren't as innocent as everyone else. You are worldly compared to these other Mormon girls. These dream missionaries don't want someone as plain, boring and un-Mormon as me. I don't even reach the charts against these girls. So no matter how hard you try to be the best girl you can be, no matter how hard you try to impress them, or how hard you try to flirt without being to flirty. You will never get that guy. Because you aren't that girl he is looking for. I just want to cry because I feel like my hopes and dreams have been crushed. There are too many other girls to compete with. To many other girls who look nearly perfect. Who will be the perfect wives and mothers and relief society presidents. Tonight I am going to a dance, but why should I even go? I am afraid to flirt now. How can I if I know it ends in disappointment. I am not the perfect girl and I never will be. I can't get things out of my mouth the way I want to and I can't express myself without looking like an idiot. All I want to do is give up. But then where does that put me? No where thats where. I've never been able to get the good guys, so why do I still try? Shouldn't I have learned my lesson by now? I never learn.

Dear Blog,
It is Friday night and I do have plans to go out. I have to go out to keep myself sane. I seem to have gotten myself down though. We are going to a dance, and I can only hope it is something like a stake dance because I never did like school dances. I can't dance, not really anyways. I can slow dance and country dance but that is about the extent of my dancing. As the time passes, I want to go less and less. Tauni just came in and wants me to do something so I'll ttyl.
Love you!
Emily

College is here!

Dear blog,
I have now been in Rexburg a week and a half. I love it here. It is a lot of work, but I do love being in class again. I am taking all foundations classes and a confectionary course, which is working with chocolate and candy making. My roommates are all really nice. I get along great with them. Haley is right next to me in the neighboring apartment. People here are so spiritual it amazes me. Normally I would be answering questions in class and being interactive but I haven't been like that here. Other people are so smart and opinionated I don't dare raise my hand and look stupid. My Book of Mormon class is so amazing. We start out with a hymn and a prayer. The spirit is strong in there and everyone is so eager to discuss the book of mormon. Everyone has deep insights too. I met a boy that I like but I think it goes one way so I suppose I'll keep looking. I really don't have time for a boy anyway. It's going to be hard as it is to get good grades, and get a job. My only friends are my roommates and 2 other people Chantelle introduced me to when I first got here. Well I'm going to go work on more homework and do something productive. Or maybe I will relax and watch a movie... idk