My day with Andi =D

Well Andi picked me up at 7:45 am to take me farming with him. I was super tired at first... but after a few hours I finally woke up lol.  He drives the grain cart so we rode in the tractor and pulled the grain cart.. and when the combine got full we pulled over to the combine and got the grain and then drove over to the main place to drop it off... and then did it again. We did that for many hours until we finished cutting corn. To most of ya'll that probably sounds really boring... but suprisingly it wasn't... like at all I quite enjoyed it. We just got to talk for a LONG time lol. Oh and he let me drive the tractor too :) Then he let me drive his truck home while he finished up some things and I got all cleaned up and then went back and picked him up and then I got to meet his grandparents who were very nice. Then I drove him to his house and talked to his mom while he got all cleaned up. Then we went to Little Rock and ate dinner. I told him to go somewhere cheap... but he wanted to take me somewhere nice for some reason. Then we went to walmart and got some country cd's and then came home. All in all it was a wonderful day. I laughed and couldn't stop smiling all day. I Can't really believe I met someone like that. He is so respectful... and such a gentleman. I don't think there is a better guy out there. I had so much fun with him... still can't believe it... but it's true :) Life is so unexpected sometimes!!

My date and my roommate...

Well I went on a date last night with Andi Mack. He is a real country boy and gentleman. All my doors were opened for me and he was very respectful. He works on a farm from 5:45 till 8 or 9 ish everyday. Well he told me he would pick me up at 7 but got there at 6:40... I wasn't quite ready since I thought I still had 20 minutes... but luckily all I had to do was my make-up and that only took a minute. I decided to curl my hair and make it cute and I guess I shouldn't have cause I burnt my face... lol I was mortified at first but he didn't seem to care so I kinda forgot about it.. though I thought it was hilarious that I burnt my face with the curling iron right before my date... typical me... anyways he told me all about the ppl and farms that we passed as we drove to Cabot where we ate at the Dixie Cafe, a country food restaurant, it was really good! Then we had to run to walmart cause the ppl we were with (Jake and Megan) had to get something there so we just walked around and he showed me some guns and the ones he hunts with and how they work... it was really interesting actually. Then we went bowling and I got a 23! Lol apparently bowling isn't my talent but it was fun. Then we played pool and he won one game and I won one game. Then he took me home and his mom gave us more okra. All in all it was a really good night I laughed a lot and enjoyed being with a real gentleman... I have never met a guy who is more respectful. He wants to take me farming with him this saturday to show me how it all works, that should be fun :)
On to my roommate... well as you know brianna and me have some room conflicts... this is due to the fact that I want a clean and tidy room, and she enjoys destroying the room... not really sure why. It drives me crazy though! I can't even think in a messy rooom and no matter how many times I clean it she destroys it within 24 hours. so today we set up boundaries... I get one half of the room and she gets the other. My stuff goes on myh side and her stuff goes on her side. I hang up my own clothes and she hangs up hers. I'm hoping this new method will help both of us because I can keep my side of the room clean and tidy while she can do what she wants with her side. Well I only had 30 minutes and it's up now so I g2g. ♥ Love Ya!

Senior Year coming up...

Well youth conference was amazing. I had the time of my life. I met a boy that rocked my world for the weekend... and the spirit there was so strong... there is nothing like 1300 LDS youth together for the weekend... it was an experience I know I'll never forget.
I guess going into my senior year has caused me to reflect on my life... the good and the bad. I think for the first time.. I understand why I am the way I am. This is a good thing because when I understand my faults I can change them and improve myself. I'll be 18 in exactly one month and I am coming up on my last year of high school, my last year in this house, my last year of my childhood. I want so bad to just have fun this last year... before I have to be an adult and pay bills and be responsible... I want to make memories this last year. The problem is... I have no one to make memories with.. My sister lives in Idaho... all my friends are in Conway... I have friends here but none of them are interested in actually hanging out with me ... they just want to be my friend at school. I don't have a boyfriend or anything like that... so my mission of having a blast my senior year, and making memories... doesn't look like it is going to happen. My senior year will most likely consist of Lots of homework and studdying from AP classes, work, college applications, scholarship applications, and my parents stressing me out about how I am going to pay for my school. Thats the story of my life though... it's never been about having fun and enjoying your childhood... it's always been about responsibillity... I think the word "Fun" and "Emily" were never meant to be put in the same sentence. Maybe thats the way God wanted it to be though... I mean he moved me to Hazen... so I guess even though I feel so boring and like I have no life... maybe it's just not my turn to have fun yet... maybe it never will be I don't really know... One thing I do know is that while I want my senior year to last... at the same time I want it to fly by so i can move out and be my own person. I hate being told what to do... I have my independence you know... and it drives me crazy that I'm still living in this house... still having to listen to my parents... I want to make my own rules and my own decisions... but I feel like my family is just a big circle closing in around me constantly... they act like I'm the worst person in the world... always disapppionting them... they don't realize what a good kid I am... all the teenagers I know don't listen to their parents... they talk back.. they aren't respectful... they don't care what their parents say or think about them... but I'm not like that at all. I obey my parents, I don't go behind their back, I try to do good in school so that I won't have to depend on them for college... I don't want them paying a dime. I respect my parents but most days it feels like a one way deal. Nothing in my life is private either... which might be ok for some people but for me it drives me insane because I'm a very private person and I like complete privacy... but I guess thats just part of being in a big family. Sorry for those that read my blog... it probab;y seems like I'm always complaing... I guess thats when I write though... My mom told me to get off the computer... shocker... I guess I'll write again when I get a chance.

I worked 36.5 hours this week... that's alot btw. Well life's everything that I could ask it to be... I'll be a senior this year, I have a job that I love, I have great parents. I can't help but feel lonely with no guy in my life, and never hanging out with friends, and not having Chantelle here. I just wish all this would hurry up and money would appear in my bank, My ACT would go up, I'd get scholarships to colleges and I would KNOW what college to go to so I could just go to college and start my life. But I can't just skip this last year... It's hard always looking at EVERYONE else... couples everywhere... I mean freaking 7 year olds have boy friends even if it's not serious... and I just have to tell myself that "Someday" someone descent will want me. I can't remember a time when a descent guy wanted me. The only guys that hit on me are ones that want to do me, or guys that are so weird it freaks me out... it makes me wonder if thats a hint... maybe there is something wrong with me that makes normal good guys not like me... but then I realize... wait.. I'm in Arkansas, I'm the only mormon in my school... there's not really many good guyis out there left... so I just keep telling myself that one day... when I get to college I'll find a great man, return missionary... who might see something in me, but what if I get to college and it's just a rerun from highschool, and I still get no normal guys... it's frustrating, I feel like I'll be single all my life, or that I'll just get so tired of waiting, that I'll settle for less. But don't worry, I'm sure God has a plan for me, and I'll just keep hoping for "Someday".
I don't need to worry about friends cause Family is the important thing right... so just cause I'm boring and there's nothing interesting about me, and no one wants to hang out with me, that's ok... cause I still have my Family and God, and that's all that really matters in the end.

Wow, I can't believe it's been so long since I've written on my blog! The few of you who might read my blog probably think I have fallen off the planet... Well the wedding (more than a month ago) was wonderful. No mattter how hard I might've tried to prepare for the wedding... nothing could've prepared me for it. Chantelle was so happy and her smile was from the soul... I tried so hard not to cry but I couldn't stop the tears from rolling down my face when she walked out of the temple... I could not contain my emotions... my heart was so full it was strange I've never felt so happy in my life... but at the same time my heart was breaking... I could hardly bear it... I got through it ok and convincingly but at the reception that is when it hit me the hardest I was fine until the daddy daughter dance and then just her and Zach... and I couldn't do it... all the pictures of us growing up... I didn't even know it was possible to feel so much pain and happiness all at once. I wasn't ready for her to get married, but thats just one of those changes in life that you have to deal with... that day is one that I'll never ever forget... and her face when she first walked out... she looked almost like an angel sent from heaven she looked perfect and I'll never forget the look on her face.
Well after the wedding I went to girls camp and had an ok time. I hated the bugs and the heat, and the fact that I was sleeping in my tent alone... But it was spiritually uplifting and I think I needed that.
My conway friends have moved on... replaced me so to say, which is how it's supposed to be when someone moves and I'm not going to push my way back in, I can accept when I'm not welcome anymore, It kinda hurt at first but thats all good... once again it's one of the many changes in life you have to deal with.
I'm really worried about a friend of mine. He is my best guy friend and usually he calls every few weeks and we check up on each other but I haven't talked to him since early May. I know he isn't at home... I think he has probably gotten himself into some trouble and the few people that know where he is, won't tell me... I wish I could just talk to him... but I can't. I miss him so much! Yes he drives me crazy some times cause he's so dramatic and NEVER thinks before he acts... but I've never met a better person, he has a good heart, that most people never see... but he is such a wonderful person... I just wish he would think about the consequences before he acted...
It's so weird when you think how much one decision can change your life, and others. We make so many decisions everyday, sometimes not realizing thier importance... but looking back, you see the impact they made.
Right now I am currently working at Pizza Classic and loving it... my bosses are so nice, I feel like I'm with family when I am working.
The missionaries and some friends are coming over so I ought to go... sorry it to so long to blog!!

Summer is almost here!

There is eight days left of school, and everyone is ready to get out. I like the end of the year cause everyone is in good spirit :) The heat is here too!! It is very hot, and I am VERY thankful we have a pool! I'm so excited! My sister is getting married in 2 weeks! It'll be fun to see family too. Well today is basically a free day at school, cause everyone is gone on a field trip except a few of us (literally!). So I haven't done anything all day! I watched The Blind Side first period, Avatar third period, and now we are watching The Blind Side fourth period. It should be a fun day! g2g cause alex wants to use the computer so ttyl!!

My life as it stands ... :)

Well, I got a 2nd job working at Rogers, a grocery store. I now work 6 days a week, Monday-Saturday. And boy is it tiring. but I know I need to get used to working and going to school, cause I'll have to do it in college, maybe if I get used to it now, it won't be as hard when I go to college. I currently got my ACT score up to a 26 composite score. I really need it to be around at least a 28 or higher. I think I can do that if I study pretty hard. I'm busy preparing for college, and trying to figure out where to go. I really want to go to BYUI, but Utah State looks pretty good to me too. I am also looking at Weber State, and Boise State, I want to see whats out there, so I know my options. I am currently in class watching the movie "UP" so I decided to update my life a bit. I also am not quite sure whether I want to be a spanish speaking pediatric oncologist nurse, an accountant, or something else. I really just want to be a mom, but I need to go to college, and be prepared for life you know. Now days you have to be prepared for everything, so thats why I need to get at least a Bachelors degree, so if my husband doesn't make enough, or if he loses his job, or if he dies, I will be able to support my family. Time flies so fast. I have less than a month left of my junior year, and then I'll be a senior. I know from now on time will be fast especially in my senior year, cause I'll be so busy with 2 jobs, and taking 3-4 AP classes, and one concurrent credit class. I'm glad I'll be busy though, cause thats what college will be like so I am glad I have the opportunity to get used to it while I'm still living with my parents. I wish everyone to have a fantastic day! :)

College, college, and more college!

I have literally 5 minutes before the bell rings for lunch... so sorry if its short. College stresses people out to much! It costs too much, and it's not like anyone actually has that much money so I don't see why its so high. Scholarships... whats up with colleges thinking everyone out there is smart?! Really after my hard work unless I get a 30 on my ACT, than I can kiss a full ride scholarship away, which I think is frankly dumb. I have a 4.0 GPA, and will graduate valedictorian, but unless I get a 30 or higher, I can't get a full ride scholarship. Whatever. Also since I want to go out of state for college if I go to Weber State, Utah State, or Boise State, I have to pay an arm and a leg to go there since I am not a resident. So unless I go to BYUI then I am screwed. I wanted to go to BYUI anyways but thought I would look at other schools, until I saw the prices for out of state tuition! and since I don't have a 30 on my ACT, I can't get a full ride scholarship to those schools. Luckily BYUI isn't the same g2g bell rang

My Sister Getting Married

Well, as many of you know, my sister Chantelle is getting married. This is so very exciting... but also heartbreaking. It's strange how something so good can also be sad. I am overjoyous about my sister getting married. It's like unreal to me because growing up we always talked about how we were going to do this and that when we grow up and get married. I feel as though my life has been swept out from under me. We grew up so fast! I don't know why it hit me so hard, or why I was so shocked. But I realized that our childhood is over. Chantelle is my best friend in the whole world.. I couldn't ask for a better sister. God knew that we would be perfect for each other. I guess I feel like Zach is stealing my sister. I know that sounds mean but thats how I feel. I know we will always be sisters but once she's married things will change, because she'll have him now. It's just another step in life, but I didn't realize that her getting married would be so hard for me. I've had her by my side since I was born. I've never been alone... ever.. until last may when she left for college and I felt as though she took a part of me with her. Still I pushed on knowing that she was just a phone call away.
I didn't know what alone really was until Chantelle left, and we moved to Hazen. I didn't realize how hard it would be to have no friends, and my sister gone... the one that i always talked too... knowing that even if I didn't have friends I would still have her so it would be ok. Now she is getting married and I am so happy for her I am so excited I literally screamed for like 5 minutes when she told me lol. I am happy that she found her soul mate.... it makes me realize more than anything that I am growing up too, I'll graduate next year and go to college and soon be in the same place as she is ... and though I've dreamed of this since I was a child... for once in my life I want it to slow down... but I can't time is always moving and life is always changing. Her wedding has brought me more happiness than I think I have ever felt in my whole life, and I am thankful for that. :)

My $50 bet....

Yes, me being me and always KNOWING that I'm right, made a $50 bet with my brother Alex last July. Just days after I broke up with my last boyfriend Jc, I fiercly told my whole family I wasn't going to date again until I went to college because High School boys are stupid. Alex seeing a golden opportunity said "Bet you $50 you will" and since I know I'm always right, I promised and bet $50 I wouldn't date anyone until I went to college. Well every time I talk to a guy Alex reminds me of our bet... I don't want to pay him $50 so I stay single. As time goes by this gets harder and harder to keep. Every guy that comes my way I tell them I'm not dating until college because I'm trying to focus on my academics and don't want to be distracted...
This has always worked before, until now. This one guy is determined that he will get me to go out with him. I've given him many excuses for why I can't date him including that I'd have to pay $50 to my brother... that doesn't phase him... he says he'll pay it. Well I'm in a rut now, cause I keep telling him I can't date him, and he keeps telling me he likes me and isn't giving up. He's so sweet, he makes me smile... but I don't like him... so now I have to show him my other side... My stubborn side he doesn't realize that I don't like him... and I feel horrible having to tell him this but I refuse to date someone who I don't like like that. I didn't even realize that I didn't like him until yesterday...
Oh well this is the life of a teenager and I only have a year and a half till college which sounds like a long time but time goes quickly for me since I stay busy. I'm sure the Lord has a plan for me I just don't know what he was thinking putting me in a town with no mormons and no friends. Everything I do I do for myself cause I know no one here cares which sucks but its alright cause I know that someday my faithfulness will pay off... I hope somewhere out there, there is a guy who is staying faithful and worthy just for me... and I'll find him someday :) Well I've gotta hope anyways...
As much trouble as my $50 bet has cost me... little did I know at the time... but it has helped me make the right choices so I thank my brother for challenging me... cause I refuse to let him win... so I know I'll stay clean and worthy and won't date... for some this would be really hard and most people couldn't do it but I know I can... I'm going to have a guy with me the rest of my life once I get married... So it doesn't hurt to enjoy my freedom while I have it! :) Guess I better go!

Love Ya! And thank you alex!