Emily

Well, my life is finally moving on. I think last week was like trudging through mud. I didn't want to go anywhere or do anything. I didn't get any sleep and I flunked the ACT badly as a result. I didn't realize how tired I was until I came home after the ACT and slept from 2-6, and then the following day did the same thing. Today is the first day in a while that I actually did my hair and make-up. Let me tell you, actually getting ready for the day makes a HUGE difference lol. Well I have been busy lately. I am trying to apply for BYU Provo, and BYU Idaho, and I have to write essays for them. I hate writing essays because that is my worst area academically. I can do math and science and history... but english is another story. English makes me so frustrated. It's funny cause english should be the easiest... but each to thier own. Hopefully I get to visit my bestie haley this weekend. I seriously need a girl day. I need to just have fun and get away from this town for a few days;) I guess right now I am trying to plan the rest of my life and I am a bit indecisive. I'm not focused on having a lot of fun my senior year anymore. I can't afford to goof off. I have a B in one class and need to bring it up. Maybe if I try a little harder, I can get my ACT up a bit more. just a hope... not a big deal if I don't. I am resigned to solitude. Why try to be friends with everyone when it will just pressure me to test my standards. I know who I am. I know what is expected of me. I know what will make me happy. And the silly things that make other teenagers happy don't make me happy. I'm independent and don't mind being alone. I don't know what I want with my life right now... I don't know where I want to go to school. I know for sure I don't want to date anybody. Not for quite a while... maybe when I go to college I'll date again idk. I can see my future exactly how i want it... but then an instant later it changes. All I know is that I'm thankful for Family. In the end they are all that matters. Family is everything. I'm thankful for my family. Especially Alex right now. He doesn't know it but he is my best friend. He is a teenager, he goes to my school, and we are the only mormons in school... living the life lol. I'm thankful that God blessed me with a brother that I get along with so well, and I'm thankful he is so close in Age. Most of all i'm thankful for his laughter and humor in life. He laughs at everything. So when life sucks, I know my brother can make me laugh... whatever it is that sucks... he can make it look as though it was all a joke, a hilarious one. He understands me, better than almost anyone. I don't know what I would de without him, I'm thankful that he is here with me my last year. Cause Heaven knows i needed him. God must've known we would be best friends, that must be why we were born so close to eachother, why we have always gone to the same school, and why we understand eachother. He laughs at me when no one else does... he notices when I trip or randomly drop my keys, he laughs when I ask a question that no one else would ever ask... Just wanted to say that I love my brother Alex and am overly thankful that God blessed me with him. Might I had that If he were any younger, he would drive me insane, but he isn't, he is just the right age:) Gotta Love him:)