Wednesday, October 13, 2010

What happens, happens.

Wow, I think I am bipolar lol.  One day I am happy as can be and the next I am confused, lost, and grouchy.  This must be due to stress.  This year is the year that I plan the rest of my life.  I am constantly under stress of which school to go to, what to major in, getting enough money for school... am i going to go to Idaho or stay in Arkansas?  Am I going to stay living with my parents or move out and live my life?  Is this guy THE guy?  All of these questions and no answers.  All these decisions that I have to make.  And as much as I want to graduate and get out of here and live my life, I also want to be a kid, enjoy my youth, have fun.  This is my last year of high school and strangely I want it to stretch itself out.  I want it to last, cause once my after high school life starts, I know I will never be the same... and I won't have the freedom and lack of responsibillity I have as a teenager.  I don't really know anything right now, but I am perfectly ok with that cause quite honestly I don't want to know yet, I don't want to know where the rest of my life is going.  I just want to live day by day right now.  Is this a mistake?  I hope not... but for once in my life, I'm not going to worry about the future... what happens, happens.  That is my attitude right now :) 

1 comment:

nina said...

When the Lord wants you in the place you are supposed to be everything will start falling into place. The best thing you can do right now is make some plans, apply to several different places and pray that the Lord will direct you to the right one. And I believe he will. I tried to leave my town for 1/2 a year before I actually did. I wanted to go to school in Provo so bad, I thought it was what would be best for me. But nothing worked out for me so I could go, and it turns out it's because my husband was at BYUI, soon as I applied there everything fell into place like dominoes, it was night and day difference. And it's because it was finally the Lord's timing for me to go somewhere. I might have been ready to leave before that, but he knew where He wanted me to be. I believe that everything will fall into place for you too, when the time is right. For now just keep your head up and faith and be patient and do the best you can.